Queerly Beloved
Queerly Beloved
28. Things I'd Like To See MORE of in 2024!
Hello hello! This week's episode is a follow up from the last episode, but instead things I'd love to see MORE of in 2024 as our generation is navigating a world where we have no kinds of "traditions" that feel right for all love stories.
Here is the episode with Priya Parker I referenced.
If you have other ideas for things you'd like to see more of in the wedding world in 2024, or just want to say hello, please message me @wildlyconnectedphoto!
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
Queerly Beloved, I'm so glad you joined!
Please keep the community going by checking me out on instagram @wildlyconnectedphoto and come say hi! I'd love to hear from you! :)
Really beloved. Welcome back to this week's episode. My name is Ana. I. I use she, her pronouns and I'm with wildly connected photography, just in case you're new around here. If you're returning. Welcome back. Hi. Hello. So nice to see you or hear. Yeah, I guess. I hope you all are enjoying this transition into winter season and are getting ready for the cold and snow. If you get snow where you are. And yeah. If you celebrate any holidays this time of year, hopefully you're getting into that kind of spirit to. It's it's just so weird. Like I swear. I don't know. I feel like the people in my life. Who know me know that I say this all the time, about time just being so strange. Like I swear yesterday. I swear yesterday, I woke up and it was the start of 2023. And now it's like, it's basically 20, 24. Let's be real. So, yeah, I don't know. So weird. But. Speaking of 20, 24, actually, before I started that, I would love to. Follow up from last week's episode, which if you haven't listened to last week's episode, it was all about things that I'd like to see die and stop in 2023. So please make sure to go give that on a listen. First before listening to this one. And I'm super curious for those of you who did listen. And basically got the gist of the episode, which is that. I would love to see. The word bride stop being used so widely, so much. Just like is basically the whole wedding industry. It feels like sometimes. and so I would just love to see that kind of really come to a halt in 2023 or at the very least like just a bigger, more inclusive idea of what the word bride means. So, anyway, all that is to say is since that episode is released, even in that short time, I've noticed it so much. Like I was just at an event a little bit ago with other wedding industry professionals and the, in the entire evening was bride. This bride, that bride and groom, this bride and groom that. And it's so frustrating. And so I'm just curious if any of you have kind of noticed it. Sentence. And if so, please share you can DME. At wildly connected photo and I would love. Love to hear your thoughts. And also. I am starting to line up some queer love stories for the end of this year and going into next year. So, if you would like to share your story with the people here, um, so we can learn from you and relate to you and all the amazing things. Again, please shoot me a DM at wildly connected photo on Instagram. And I would love to get you set up on the podcast. And finally, before we dive into the episode, The last, you know, boring thing I'll say, I guess is. I would love if those of you who listen, could leave me a review on whatever platform that you listen on. The crazy thing is about these platforms is that. The more positive rating and reviews. I get the more that it will show it to new people and I would really love to connect with more couples who could benefit from. Hearing some of this hearing some of your stories and also would love to continue to. Connect with other vendors in the industry who are always looking to get better. So if you could take like 30 seconds either now, or at the end of the episode to just quick, leave me a review, that would be so amazing. I appreciate you all so, so much. So Let's dive into tone and 24. Since last week's episode was all about things that I'd like to see kind of slow down. Coming into this year. I fear that I should touch on things that I'd like to see more of in 2024. So. Before I get into all the specifics, I would like to say that. I think a lot of my podcast episodes. Can speak to both couples and vendors while some episodes of course may speak a little bit more to one or the other. Um, I think that for this, like, this is something that applies to, to couples and vendors almost equally, I would say. Because it is our responsibility to create the future in the industry that we want to see. And I think that it's a couple's responsibility in that at the end of the day. The couple's the one making the decisions about. You know where they want to be, how they want to spend their time, what kinds of things they want to spend their money on? And of course I realized that it's not always that simple. Sometimes there's other influences, whether it be parents or friends or. You know, feeling pressured to do trendy things. Like, of course there's those influences, but. At the end of the day, it is a couple of kind of making those decisions and the vendors who are trying to. Uphold with a couple lawns. And at the same time, I think vendors have the responsibility of making suggestions, offering new ideas. Two couples. And even beyond that, you know, talking to other industry professionals, Helping them see that, that things can change that there's other options, um, and changing things in your own business are super powerful. So I think that it takes both of us to start seeing the changes that we want to see in the industry. So my hope is that couples and vendors alike can really work together on making these changes. And I'd like to start with something that I heard, actually listening to a podcast episode with Priya Parker that can link below. Who is the author of the art of gathering, which have not yet read, but after listening to this episode and listening to a few others talk about, I really want to read it because it just sounds so good. But in this podcast episode, she actually used weddings as an example, for a point she was trying to make. And I just thought it was so interesting and it like clicked in my brain and made so much sense. So she essentially was saying. That for weddings. There's this whole idea of. Couples feeling so trapped because they feel caught in between. Tradition of like weddings are a very like traditional thing where you do things, how they've always been done. There's lots of tradition involved in the day. And at the same time wanting to change that because there are things that are harmful or feel misogynistic or heteronormative or whatever it might be. And so they feel kind of caught between a rock and a hard place because it's sort of like, well, we want to honor those traditions, but we also want to change. And make room for new kinds of love stories, and new kinds of things that feel. Healthier and more welcoming and accepting to all, but there's no roadmap for that. Um, she also used like baby showers as an example of, you know, Oh, that can feel so honed in on like the mom and everything that the mom's going to have to do in that relationship. When. There are some people who maybe there's two moms, first of all, or beyond that. They just want it to feel like a more equal. Parenting partnership and not. You know, focus on the mom and the mom duties and all of that. Um, So it was a super interesting episode. I will link it below, but. I just think that that made a lot of sense, right? Where we're in this, this place in time, or we recognize that. The way things. Ha how things have always been done is not how they should necessarily continue to be. And we don't necessarily know what that means. There's no like, okay, well, if this isn't the answer, then we should do this. So I think. I think we're also a generation full of people who want to make the world a better place. And so I hope that the couples and vendors. Here feel inspired and empowered to make those changes, knowing that there's not necessarily a right or wrong, as long as we're working together to try to make. To make 20, 24 better. And then 2025 and then 2026. So. I will get off my soap box, although not really because I'm here on a podcast. But. I, I just think that's a really good base for us to start from, because this episode is not supposed to be about like, Ooh, this color palette is gonna really. Pop off in 2024 or. You know, have low stakes. Odd your Dean's floor. It's it's not necessarily about those kinds of trends. Um, I think it's just like a really good base for us to all start from to recognize that we're sort of in this new territory, Trying to explore and figure out how we want to change while also still honoring those traditions. If they feel right for us. Diving into some of the more specific things of trends I'd love to see more of in 2024. I think actually some of the littlest things can make. Way for the biggest changes. So for example, like a lot of things that I saw this year were things like couples choosing a different kind of dessert, like donuts or. Smaller as, or things like that over like a traditional cake. Um, or even things like the day of the week that your wedding happens or the time of the day that the celebration is held. I know, like it might sound kind of silly, but I think all of those things like signal to the world that we're no longer having to do things the way we used to. Cause I just think about like even 10, 20 years ago, it felt like still at that time, your only option was to get married in some sort of religious institution on a Saturday afternoon. Like that's just what happened. That was it. And now people are getting married in barns. So, you know, we've come a long way. But all that is to say, like, I don't think that happened overnight. It wasn't like one day. Churches and the next day barns and. Industrial buildings. Like I think there was probably things that happened along the way. And so I think that we need to keep that energy going into 2024. Everything from desserts to time of day to all of those little changes that just feel more like you or are right for you are going to continue to show people like, Hey. Things are changing and it's okay. And we're going to do this one step at a time. So keep doing the little things that feel most like you. Another thing that of course is going to make me sound like a broken record. But just, it needs to be a constant reminder as we're all growing together is just more use of the word couple versus Brian and groom. I've definitely seen so much more of that this, this year than any other year I've been in the industry, I would say, but. I definitely still see lots of slip-ups or. People like having it just like in their written out scripts, things like that. So, We definitely have room to improve. But I have a lot of hope. I do see a lot of vendors catching themselves or just being more conscious. So. Let's keep up that energy in 2024, we're keeping things neutral. We're keeping things inclusive. It's going to be great. So another thing is. Relating to what couples where on their day. And I know this one might get some mixed reviews because. The whole like wearing white or wearing black or wearing black and white, it feels very, it feels very wedding. Which. It is because that's how things have been done since the 18 hundreds. I should make a disclaimer before I dive too deep into the, into this, that this is mostly talking about weddings that happen in America. Or in mostly white bodied folks or people that don't otherwise have other. Cultural ties and heritage. So. I'm well aware of that. In other, other traditions, other cultures that the colors are not white and black. So that is. Great and amazing. But for weddings that happen. Here in America. Or that has been kind of the practice for a long, long time. Just, uh, yeah, you can reference my old episode that talks about. Old wedding traditions that also need to die in a hole. And I'm definitely not saying that about wearing white and black. I think some people feel very strongly about that and want that. And I. Support that. As with a lot of traditions, I think it's up to each individual person, what they want to do. Um, but there are some weird ties, right? Like wearing white has to do with innocence and morality and virginity and, There are people that say the groom is supposed to wear black because it. You know, Puts more attention back on the brides and. That's what the day is all about. You know, exhibit 1,000,003 of the use of the word bride. So. Oh, that is the same. Just because that's how it's always been done does not mean that you have to do it. And of course, If it feels right for you by all means do it. But I've seen so many weddings over this past year, this past two years, honestly, where couples have found really fun and creative ways to involve color in their outfits, whether it's like half of their outfit being a color or. Maybe later in the evening, they change into a different outfit that is more colorful or they just wear color all day long. Like, I think. Just wear what feels good to you? Like you don't have. People always say that, like, if you don't wear why or you don't wear black than you don't look, quote unquote bridal area, doesn't look like a wedding. That just think that's so false. Like where literally where, whatever the heck you want. You are still going to look amazing if you're wearing red, you're not going to automatically not be a bride or not be a merrier, just because. You're not wearing white. I digress. Please. I just would like you to know that you can wear whatever colors you would like on your wedding. And I have lots of cool examples of couples doing that on their day. So. If you would like to see some examples, feel free to reach out to me anytime. Another thing is that. In 2023 SL um, or venues and spaces, trying to make efforts to make bathrooms just feel more inclusive, um, whether it's single stalls or making some of them gender neutral or figuring out creative ways to make it a more communal space. I love it. We love to see it. Let's keep that going up in 2024. And another thing. This one. I think has sort of been. In the works for a long time since COVID essentially. Basically the idea of. I think for a long time, weddings felt like something where you had to invite everybody. You had to invite everybody. You ever knew all your parents, friends, and neighbors, and all of that. And I think once COVID hit and there was like legitimate restrictions on how many people could be in person at the same time. It made people really rethink who, who is important and who they really wanted to be there. And I've definitely see that kind of energy sort of continue on throughout the years. And I would love to see that continue into 20, 24 as well. Again, if your dream is having like a giant, huge freaking party. Do that that's amazing. But I think. Sometimes there's, there's still a lot of big feelings with guest counts and figuring that out. And I just want the energy to continue going forward of couples, feeling like. We can invite who we want to invite and who we feel good and safe, inviting, and we're not going to carry the guilt of not inviting certain people with us. I get it. It's not that easy. It's again, it's not com. Compartmentalized. It's so different situation to situation and person to person, but I'm just hoping that this positive energy surrounding having smaller weddings and being more selective about who you'd like there and who you feel safe with having their continues, because I think that's super important. Another thing for 2024 that I'd love to see more of is for those couples that are maybe straight passing or maybe they just are straight, whatever the case might be, where the man changes their last name. I don't know. I just think that's so cool. I think it's, I think it's so fun. I think it's like a cool way to just like, Change the story, not make it all about like the women. Becoming part of the man and all of that, like, I don't know. I just think it's so fun and cool. Or even couples. Hyphenating their names. Whether you're in a straight passing relationship or you're in a queer relationship. Like hyphenating names is so fun and awesome. I mean, some of y'all have really, really. A long complex names. That makes me question this one a little bit, but. Overall, I think that hyphenating names versus one of you feeling like. You have to change yours or honestly, even couples like keeping their own names too. That's totally fine. I think. Everything surrounding last names. Definitely needs to change, um, especially with queer queer relationships where everybody's like, oh, who's going to take, who's named there's no man in the relationship. Oh my God. I just think it's. It should really be up to the couple. And I would love to see more like support and energy from family and friends around whatever decision that they decide to make. The last thing that I will end with is that I think inclusivity and sustainability go hand in hand. So I think there's definitely been more movements for people making more eco-conscious decisions on their day, from what they serve to what they serve at on to what their. You know, their silverware is made of too. If there's confetti involved in the day. Things like that. Um, people are definitely starting to be more aware of that. And I think that the industry is starting to support that more and more. And so in 2024, I would definitely love to see that energy continue, you know, Using leaves instead of confetti, um, yeah, just making conscious decisions about what you're serving, how much you're serving. How much trash you're creating at your event? All of that. I think that. There's just so much intersectionality. When it comes to inclusivity, sustainability, diversity, all of those things. And so. Would love to just. Keep making the wedding industry a more inclusive, sustainable and diverse place that makes everybody feel more welcome. And it makes the world a better place. So, Those are just a few ideas. Obviously. I think there's so many more things that 20, 24 needs to have happen. But I'm also just really excited to head into this next wedding season and see what all of the couples that I'm working with too. And see what. All of y'all out there do. And I'm also really excited to see the kinds of things that vendors start doing. Right. Because I think it's on us to start some of these positive trends as well. So, thank you all for joining me for this week's episode. If you have ideas or things that you would love to see more of in 2024, please shoot me a DM at wildly connected photo on Instagram. Or just say hello. It's super fun to connect with you. And chat with you on Instagram. So please feel free to reach out any time. And with that, I hope you all are having an amazing day or evening or whenever you're listening. And I can't wait to see you back here for next week's episode. Bye.