Queerly Beloved
Queerly Beloved
42. LGBTQ+ Florists Queerify Flowers and Give Some Ideas for Your Wedding with Prairie Rose Flowers
Gahhh sooo pumped to talk about something I've been wanting to since the start of this pod: FLOWERS! This is an aspect of weddings that still feel SOOO incredibly genderedd and I wanted to not only break those ideas down but to also hear different ideas for the future. Featuring new friends and the most rad local florists: Prairie Rose Farm and Floral
Find them on instagram @prairieroseflowers
and PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND CHECK OUT THE PINTEREST BOARD THEY MADE FOR queer flower inspo.
Click HERE!
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
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Quilly Beloved, welcome back to this week's episode. I am so stoked because this week I have some new friends with me here. This is Em and Heidi of Prairie Rose and I'm just gonna hand it over to you two right away. Love if you guys could introduce yourself, your pronouns, and any identities you want to share. I'm Heidi. I use she, her pronouns. And I'm Em. I use any pronouns. And yeah, we're queer farmers, artists, and floral designers. And we're also partners in business and in life. I'm, I'm excited to have y'all I mean, yeah. I would love to just start out by asking you a little bit more about. Like the journey, like how y'all ended up here and why you're passionate about this too. So I guess like we should start with some background. Right. Okay. So we met well, we met in Michigan, but we lived in Chicago together for a while. And well, we lived in Chicago. I worked at an urban flower farm. And that's kind of like where the idea or like the interest came up because I never really thought of like combining floral design with like the farming aspect. And I always like, like gardening and all that. So I was like, this is super cool. And you came and helped out sometimes too on the farm. So that's kind of like where the interest started and then we New, we wanted to leave Chicago and we're trying to figure out where to go and like what we wanted to do. And then we went on like a road trip. We worked for another farm out in Idaho for a while and then we were like driving around trying to figure out where we wanted to be. We really had like, no idea what we were doing at that point. It was just kind of total free form, just, you know. You know, we were just roaming. We had like sold all of our belongings when we had moved out of Chicago. So we didn't really have anything. We were just kind of like out there trying to figure it all out. And I think being on that farm in Idaho was really helpful. Like we, we lived on the farm, so we were there all the time. And it was a very rural setting and it was just, it opened up a lot of ideas for us. Like we. We felt so good being out there and working all the time. And I think that we kind of were thinking about that, that whole time we were on the road trip, just like reflecting back on it and being like, how do we get back to that? How do we have another space like that? Yeah, and then we were like driving back towards the Midwest and we were like, wait, like, we need to stay by like the Great Lakes because that was like when we were in Chicago, that was the big thing was like being on like Michigan for us. And like, a lot of our relationship is like based around that our entire relationship of being in Chicago was surrounded around the lake. Everything we did. Together and separately was just to be near the lake to learn its ecosystem and be around all of that. And like, and that's kind of our relationship with all of nature, but especially water and especially the lake. And so. When we were, you know, kind of lost and trying to figure out where we were going, it just made sense to find our way back to the Great Lake region. Yeah, and then I'm from the Midwest and like, I was like, I love northern Minnesota growing up. Like, let's just go up there and like, check it out. And then we just like, on a whim, like, found a place to rent, moved here. Yeah, we lived in Duluth for the past couple of years, a couple of years. Yeah, so then we were both here working. I was doing floral work and working on farms. I was welding, just kind of doing the grind. Yeah. Yeah, and then I guess, like, it still felt like kind of like a far off dream, but then 1 of the, like, The farm I was working at my boss gave me like, a little plot to try growing flowers on. And that's when we were like, well, like, we could like, do this. Yeah, like, actually do it. Then we, like, had sort of been casually looking for. Places, but we were like, I mean, the market was insane. Like, everything was crazy with like, trying to find a house. It was so I don't know. And something with land that you could actually farm on. It's intimidating. Yeah yeah, but then this place popped up and like, it's further from Duluth than we were originally thinking because it feels a lot more comfortable to be closer to Duluth and we're like, at least 30 minutes away from Duluth which doesn't seem like a lot when you're thinking of other places. Big cities, because it takes a long time to get places, but Duluth is small. So 30 minutes means you're. So, but it was so when we, like, found the place that we were like, no, this is like, perfect. Like, it was like, such a great price for like. What it is, and it's also just like, I don't know. We are like, this is this is it. Like, this is our spot. I remember you sent me. I was at work and you sent me a text and you were like, this is the 1 and I only saw the thumbnail of the house and I was just like, oh, my God, I know it. It's it's right. Like, that's the 1. It just felt right for some reason from the beginning. Yeah. Yeah, and then we wrote them a letter. And that's like why we got the house. Yeah, there were people bidding way over asking and they read our letter and by chance too, because their realtor almost didn't let them read the letter because that's the thing where, I don't know, they don't want you to feel emotionally attached to the cell at all, which is like your home. Obviously you're going to be emotionally attached to it. And they had had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that they weren't going to live here. They were an older couple. And so. Yeah, they, they just like read our letter and they wanted us to be the next people to caretaker this land. Yeah, so that was super nice too. And we purposely, like, didn't mention that we were queer in the letter. Like, we were like, trying to be, like, Not bring that up. So it was like kind of nerve wracking when we went to go meet them because we were like, Whoa, what if they like, weren't expecting this? And like, now they don't want to like sell us the house, but they were, they're like two old hippies and they were just like, didn't even bat an eye. And we're like, so excited to meet us. So like, we already were like, this is such a good vibe. And like, it just helped us to feel really like comfortable here. It's good to, it was so good to know that the people who had been living here before had a similar Like they had a similar idea of how to live their life and how to like respect the land. And that meant a lot to us because a few other places we had gone to, to like tour and think about living there. It just, it was like, yeah, we can do this. Right. Like it felt, yeah, but it felt scary and coming here was like coming to our best friend's house. Like, and then all of a sudden it was like, Now we could actually do this. We could have a larger scale than just the four plots we were doing that year. And so it just, we were just like, okay, we're doing this. Like, we're going to push for it. Yeah, that was last August and we were like, once we got it, it was like, we were so busy because the house has like a lot of issues. So we were like redoing some of the siding and like replacing windows. Like we like had no idea what we were doing, but we were just like YouTubing it and making it work and like trying to like prep a little area for like growing this next year. So yeah, we were super busy. But now we're, yeah, I guess getting ready for our first year here. So this will be our like second year, I guess, but our first year, like here in our own spot and like really like getting it going as like a business and getting our roots of what we want it to be. Yeah, because last year we were selling to one forest. And this year, we're, like, trying to find so many more outlets since we are growing on a larger scale than what we were that year. Yeah, so it's just so many. I don't know. It's getting going. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. This is amazing. And it kind of sounds like in some ways your business is sort of this like combination of like your relationship and your story along with like your passion for nature and the land and all of that. Does that seem accurate? Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Well, that's also why, cause like, I feel like a lot of couples are like, Oh, I like don't want to work. With their partner, but also I feel like it's kind of a queer thing too. Yeah, we love working together and like love collaborating in so many ways. And we're like, this is actually like the perfect thing. Like the goal to be have us both working together, like doing this full time. And so we're, yeah, that's what we're trying to do. It's just so much like fun to like be creative problem solving with each other all the time and like using different parts of our brain to like come up with things and. It all feels like a big art project and that's like, that was our whole relationship since we since we met each other. It was always a project that 1 of us was working on that. We were helping the other with. And so that's just how we already operate. And it's like. This is literally the perfect comment, like all of that coming together. Yeah, beautiful. And just like how cool too, that you get to be, like you said, so hands on with this and like, I don't know, I feel like folks will like feel that in the flowers. Right. Like that, these were like grown and handled and delivered with so much like care versus like being imported from. Some country you've never heard of, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah. And like, I mean, that's definitely like, a part of this whole idea and project is like, I mean, like, with growing flowers, like, it's to do our best to, like, try to keep a lower, like, environmental impact, try to have things sourced more locally and like. Just like, yeah, to provide like a high quality product and something that people feel connected to in that way, which I feel like a lot of people, you know, are becoming more aware of that and are interested in that type of thing. And so it's exciting. Yeah, absolutely. And yeah, I would love to, I know the rest of the episode, we'll be talking more about florals in specific, but I do think that it is very cool that you get to be where y'all are, like living in a more rural area which can be really intimidating. I think as we've talked about in the past, so I was just curious if you guys could touch on that a little bit like what it's like. Being a queer couple in a rural area as well as like, maybe some hopes that you have for that too. Yeah. Well, we both are like very comfortable like in ourselves in rural spaces. And like, I always knew growing up. Like, that's where I wanted to end up. And I think you also felt like that and, but then when we met and we're like, well, we want to do that together. And we both had never thought about what that would look like, like doing it with a partner where you're like, not necessarily always welcome in those spaces. Yeah. Because solo, you can kind of blend in. Yeah. I mean me less. So yeah, I look really gay, but there is an aspect of. Going into those spaces together that we learned pretty early on in our journeys around and things we were doing in rural spaces. Oh, that actually has this other meaning to a lot of people. And yeah, we kind of, I remember we went on like a road trip, together just to kind of like, it was, it was like after COVID the big quarantine. And so we were trying to like reconnect a little bit and we just decided to go on this trip. And I remember we didn't think about it. We didn't think about what it meant for the two of us together to go into these spaces until, until we were in them. And then that was scary. We were like, Whoa, we have to, we have to think about this. We can't just like go into them and not. Not not know what to expect, right? Yeah, we were in like, rural North Dakota and people like, people like said stuff to us. Yeah, they were like, holy, like, can we actually. Like, live in these types of spaces and, like, I don't know, so it's just kind of like navigating that and I feel like that took a long time and then, like, when we moved out of Chicago, like. You know, even at first, like, coming to Duluth, like, like, I, I mean, it's not like a small town by any means, but it's smaller than Chicago. So that even is like a bit of a change. And then coming out here was a big change. It was definitely intimidating, but we knew we wanted to do it. We knew we both feel so good being able to be in a rural rural space. And it was kind of like, we weren't going to let that get in the way. I guess we're going to, like, let these ideas of. I don't know preconceived notions people have about us make us not do what we wanted to do or live where we wanted to live. And I mean, that seems really intimidating and like a struggle, but now that we're here. And like living in this space, it's like, why is this not a lot? Like, why do people want to gatekeep this from the gay community? This is, this is literally so queer. Like we are out here and like, tending to the land and respecting nature and living in it and being hands on and doing things in our own, like, Honestly, queer artistic way. Like we work on projects and like, sure. It may seem kind of chaotic to other people, the way that we're doing it, but it's, it's the way that we know how to make things and how to do them. And that is because we're artists and because we're gay and it works so well with being in this rural space. Yeah. And it is kind of like. You feel like you're in this little like your own space that you're creating. Like there aren't people like watching you in this way because you're just like out here. It almost feels safe sometimes like on our actual property. It feels safe. And part of that is because like the previous owners had created that already. Like, we felt safe coming onto their property and they just kind of pass that on to us. It is this like, it is this little haven for us. But I mean, it is nerve wracking. Like, we'll go like, to the little, like, store or bar and we're like, oh, like, do we not be here? Like, oh, my gosh, but we've met some other, like, really great. Farmers who are like friends of ours who are like, take us to these like little places around and like, because we know somebody, then like the locals are like, okay, cool. And like, people have been like, everybody we've met has been like, so nice to us. Yeah, so our neighbors, the ones that we have met have been so like, great. They like, you know, they respect us and we respect them. It's it's like, I don't know. It feels good. Yeah. And I also think it's important to acknowledge to that, like. This is indigenous land, like, we're on Ojibwe land and before there was colonization, like, there wasn't this idea that you can't be queer, like, I feel like that's a very, like, colonial white settler idea that was, like, imposed on the land here and I think it's important to, like, bring that up and Like this, this land originally. Was forever like, it is like, there aren't these boundaries. Yeah, that's that is the colonial idea that has been imposed on the land. And it's in some ways. I like, think it is like, negative to the land itself to restrict so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I think it's important for us to, like, bring that up too, because we're, we are a land based business. We're, like, working with them, like, actually with the land, so I think it's, yeah, important to acknowledge that and what that means, so. That carries a lot into how we, how we farm and how we run our business, like, We aren't the original caretakers and we want to, like, respect that, you know, like, we want to, like, care for the land in a way that is, like, honoring everyone who has been here before, like, everyone, you know. Yeah, and just, like, I mean, we talk about this a lot, like, when we are, you know, actually farming and growing our flowers and stuff. Going along with the patterns of nature, because it's so hard because you want to have a lot of control and like, have things be a certain way, but also just like letting things. Be how they are, like, things aren't always going to be perfect. Like, there's past pressure sometimes and, like. Disease and, like, I don't know, the weather is going to do what it wants and, like. Just working with, like, the ecosystem and, like, and creating a place to where, like. Other life is still welcome. Like we, we like, we want native plants here still and like wildlife to be here. Yeah. We cried when we mowed down the prairie for our little like plot. We were like, it was so sad. I mean, yeah, but we did that knowing that we were going to tend to it in a way that was respectful. So we, as sad as it was to mow down a lot of that prairie. We were like, we're going to create something good here. That's going to be just as good for this ecosystem for this mini ecosystem. Yeah, we're like, we're like, so dedicated to like spreading, like, we're like spreading milkweed seeds all the time. We're like, we got to like, keep this place amazing. And part of that really ties into wanting to be a space that is a Welcoming like to more of the gay community and more of the queer community. Yeah, totally. Because a lot of, I feel like a lot of folks are like nervous to come up this way, or like, even folks that want to get married and like the woods or like a rural setting. And then that can be nerve wracking. And I feel like. That's where we're excited to be kind of like, you can like, come up here and it's, it'll be like, great, you know, yeah, even just to see see something like what we're doing up here. I feel like that is like, oh, just somebody who like, maybe those in the cities or somewhere else and they like, are interested in coming up here for any reason. But especially to get married, you know, and they like, they see something like what we're doing. Up in this space, and they're like, oh, that isn't just this. I don't know. That isn't just this space for people that aren't me, you know, like, it's like, oh, no, like, I can be here too. This is not just like, this is welcoming, you know. Yeah, yeah, that is so yeah, that is such a powerful connection and I'm glad. Y'all brought that up of just. The idea that, like, yeah, originally, like, the land was intended for everybody. And, yeah, it's just very cool to hear you talk about it because I know that's kind of been an ongoing discussion, right? Of, like, exactly what you said, like, people wanting to be in these spaces and feeling the pull to be in nature or be outside of a big metropolitan area, but they're, like, I'm scared. And so, like, continues to create such a big divide between, you know, city and rural areas. And so thank you for being out there and for just reminding people that it's, that's possible. Yeah, and we wouldn't be out here if we hadn't seen other queer couples doing the same thing. I mean, there's a couple of businesses that like. We look up to that are like farmers or like woodworkers, like queer couples, like in rural spaces running their business. And we were like, I feel like both of us, it was like a big, especially when we were living in Chicago to see that and know that that's a possibility that somebody else is out there doing that was game changing. It meant so much to us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Well, yeah, thank you for sharing about that. I would love to dive a little bit more into floral specifically. And since the start of this podcast, I've been so excited about doing something like this because I mean, I think, you know, In general, and the theme of this podcast is talking about the various Gendered aspects of a wedding because they are, but I feel like flowers play such a big role into that. Like, people have such a cut and dry picture in their head of like. This is who holds the bouquet. This is who has the boutonniere. Like that's that. And even thinking about some of the early weddings I shot where for whatever reason, like maybe a groomsman had to like hold the bouquet for a second or maybe like, Maybe, yeah, the bride did decide that, like, she wanted a, a guy friend on her side and she asked him to hold a bouquet and just like, even that, like that act, I feel like you could see on their face. They're like. Oh, my God, like, I can't what are they scared of, though, but even like, not knowing how to hold it. Like, I feel like they were like, I don't know what this is. Like, this is a totally foreign object. And so I do think. That, like, this is a really big conversation because there's so much attached to, like, the quote unquote, like, gender side of, of florals. So, with that being said I'm just curious, like, how you guys see that presenting in the wedding world and then, you know, Maybe we'll talk about some examples for alternatives. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, as, you know, like, the wedding industry is, like, revolves around the bride and everything and the flowers play a big role into that. Like, I mean, like,, a lot of florists, like, that's just how it works. Like, that's how you take the order. Like, what is the bride wearing? Like, what does she want all this stuff? It's like. Based off of her and I think just like even starting with like changing that, like the language used, like I even like bride and groom, that's like so many, that's so many of florists design for their forms. It's like, yeah, exactly. That's how you like take the order. How do you answer that if you are a gay couple? Like I don't understand. A lot of people are great at like. You know, using more inclusive terms and that's what we're I feel like that's like the starting point. Just to make that like, more of a norm in the industry, but yeah, and then, like, from there, though, there's like, I feel like there's like, a general idea that, like, the bride is like, the 1 who knows, like, Everything like the vibe, the color, the aesthetic, and it was like leading it. And then there's just like this like groom who was lost or whatever. And it's like, yeah, that's not always the case. And I think being open to that, like, and like, I don't know, being open to that, not everybody's going to fit into that thing and then being prepared for people wanting other options and knowing what that might look like, having ideas, being ready to. Provide those alternative options if people don't want certain things, or if they want, you know, like people. Yeah, I feel like there's, it's also kind of in the floral world, like, whatever. The bridal bouquet is sets the tone for the wedding is kind of like the idea. And I think moving away from that to like, maybe you don't even want personal flowers and you just want to set the tone by like the arch you're having or something like there's, there's an idea that whatever the bride is, is setting the tone. And I think, I think in general, the focus should be more on the couple and like the vibe. But yeah, I think, and the, you know, flowers to have association with gender and like, that it's a very like feminine thing, and it's girly and whatever. And I don't think that that necessarily has to be the case either. And that there's ways to do flowers to be like, affirming to whatever. Feels good for you, right? And I mean, flowers are used and like, we talk about this a lot, but flowers are there at like all aspects of life, you know, it's, it's actually not this thing that is supposed to be feminized. It actually is for literally every important moment in life that happens. Yeah. Yeah. That's like a big reason why. Like we even care about flowers. It's like historically it's, it's super interesting. Like that there's a reason flowers always show up for like big, like life moments, like birth, death, marriage, graduations, like it's like a ritual marker and it means something like symbolically, and I think that's important to people and I think it should not be like a, a burden and more of like actually represent what you want. And yeah, it's more about representing life than it is about being a gender in a certain way. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. That was a mic drop moment right there. No, but seriously, that is like, I think that's so helpful for putting it into perspective. Like you're so right that it is used for so many things, but people still have this tendency to be like, it's so feminine and I don't want. Yeah. So. That's a great thing to point out. But yeah, I mean, let's let's talk about it. Like. Again, like I said earlier, people are usually like, when they're picturing a wedding, they're like, okay, 1, 1 bouquet, 1 boutonniere, you know, but for those, like, I don't know, like, I would just love to hear your ideas. Like, there's so many couples. I think who. Yeah, like, could someone who's wearing a dress still wear a boutonniere? Could someone who's wearing a suit still hold a bouquet? Like, let's, let's talk about it. Oh, absolutely. I mean, we're talking about the queer community. We're already changing things and doing things in our own way. You can have whatever you want. Like, this is your day. This is your marker of life, of the stage that you're at in life. And it's like, Why not choose whatever you want? Like you should feel comfortable and you should be able to choose what you want for it. Yeah. And like florals can be made, you know, custom to you and like custom to whatever you're wearing. Like, like people do pocket squares, people do lapels. Like you can have a boutonniere like pin on florals that are made like with the dress in mind, you can have, you can hold a bouquet and wear a suit. Like there's like so many. There's so many ways you can wear flower crown. You can just do hair flowers. You could do floral rings, like, kind of whatever you want, or like, even if you don't want flowers on your body, like, just having the. Alter decorated a certain way, like whatever, whatever fits you. And like, I think, yeah, it's not as rigid as it kind of seems like there's ways that as a floral designer, like we can work with you and the specific thing you're wearing. Like, I mean, it's an art form, like. And we're both artists, we're used to considering the materials of everything and that part of that is like, who wants to be wearing it and like, what do they want it to interact with? Like we, like, and we're not just like artists, like we both are like heavily into sculpture. So this is like perfect for us. Like, I like, I'm, I'm obsessed with the lapel thing right now. I want to like do some crazy stuff with that. And that can go on anything. Right. It can be small, it can be big, it can be a whole statement, or it can just be like an accent, like, there's so many things to do with it, and I'm like, I think because we're queer and we're doing the design work ourselves and this is like our focus we're bringing that to the table already so if you want to like come to us with these ideas like it's you know yeah we'll go with it we'll go and like do it exactly how you want because that's what we're excited about we're excited about kind of breaking down these boundaries of flowers have to be this for weddings they have to be in this strict format right and there's like other ways to have. Like a bouquet, like, I, you can have like greenery or like dried stuff. Like, it doesn't have to necessarily be like this, like, really like lush flowery thing. If you don't want it to be that, like, it can look other ways. So, yeah, that is so true. I was just thinking about that. How, like, there's ways to have other, yeah, other kind of plants involved to that. I mean, I feel like I'm contradicting myself because we did say like, oh, florals don't have to be feminine, which I agree, but. I also understand that for some people they still have that association and it doesn't feel like authentic to them, but maybe like holding some ferns wood or something, you know, I feel like there's something cool about that too. Well, I was going to say you like for us, like we eloped and like I had a bouquet and you had a boot in your hand, but that's like, That's that's what works out right for us. Right. That's so true that. Yeah. I, I feel like I do try to say that throughout episodes of the podcast too. It's like, just because it's like, quote unquote, traditional doesn't mean you can't do it. Like, if that's what feels good for you. Yeah. We're we'll have a, a Pinterest like mood board in the show notes for y'all to look at and get some inspiration. Cause yeah, I think there's so, there's so many options out there, but truthfully, I wouldn't have known what the options were until just recently. So. Yeah, be on the lookout for that. I guess I was just wondering, if there are other florists here listening, who are curious about some ways that they could be more affirming in their own business in my brain, like, you kind of just said how you would sort of run with, like, what they were wearing or what the vibe was, like, practically speaking, is that something that you Like, is that how you would start? Like, would you talk to the couple and be like, what are you wearing? What's the vibe versus like, who's the bride? Who's the groom, right? Yeah. I mean, a lot of that starts with your initial form of filling out like who you are, what type of stuff you're interested in. All floors kind of have that format and that's the best way for them to get like an initial. The initial information they need to then have conversations with you. And a lot of changing the dynamic about this is starting there. And like, we said earlier, you know, changing how it's formatted of, like, the bride and the groom. If you change that, you're automatically, like, opening up so much more possibility for, you know, the options. Yeah, and I think, like, yeah, like, we were talking about earlier, like, thinking about it more of, like, a representation of, like, the couple and your, like, interest and what feels authentic to you rather than, like, this singular focus and, like, yeah, and then I think, like, as, like, a, a vendor, like, working with clients, like, That's important. And like, not having like those stereotypes kind of in your head, like, dictating what you think somebody is going to want versus what they actually want. I think also like. Something that could work for people is like how we were saying that a lot of times it's focused around the bouquet. If your form is more, is loose form and like more based on like, do you want personal flowers? Cause sometimes people might not want that. And if you start with that, I feel like it can open up to like, okay, well, what is the general style you're going for? Instead of like, what's the bouquet we're going to base everything based off of that. Yeah. That's so good. Yeah, like keeping things pretty open ended so that you can leave more space for the couple to share. Yeah. I mean, on our form, we use like nearly what? Because we like, I don't know. We like that. I don't know if that's like a term, but I think it's cute. Yeah. Like for both people in the relationship, like you don't like, I feel like sometimes people are like, well, what terms would you use then? Like, how do you even make it non gender? Yeah. Well, yeah. Cause I feel like people are like, oh, like. Then do I have to say like groomsmaid or something? And I'm like, no, like, we don't even have to be labeling. Like, we can just be like, how many boutonnieres do you want? Like, do you want bouquets for the wedding party? Yeah. Wedding party. Yeah. Florals. Do you want wedding party? It doesn't have to be like confusing and like, yeah. So I feel like it's this big hurdle for people to get over sometimes. And I'm like, it's actually so much simpler. Because then somebody even, because then even like a straight couple could be like, well, what if we don't want to be in that format? And then now they can, but before they didn't even like have that option. It was just like black or white. Like, it's so like, there's no nuance, even like not all straight people want like exactly that or have like bridesmaids and stuff. Like, yeah. So I think it's like you were saying about like, The, the what was it like the, the bride in that one wedding wanted like to have like a man on her side and he was like, well, how do I hold the bouquet? And I'm like, you could have him hold the bouquet and that's awesome. Or you could be like, oh, well, I'm going to have another option for him. You know, there's so many different ways of doing things, right? No, that's so true. And I'm glad you said that. Like, I feel like that's another. Reoccurring theme that I love to bring up is that, like, doing things well for the queer community is like, a benefit to everyone. Right? Like, it's yeah. So super glad you said that. Is there anything, any final notes you want to share, whether it's to the couples listening who might be thinking about their wedding or to any vendors listening. Any final thoughts? What do you think? I think I think a main thing is just like, don't be like, scared to. To not do what you to, like, not do what you want to do. Like, if you have an idea about something for your elopement or your wedding, like, you can find the right people like there to help you get that, you know, like. Yeah, I mean, it can be like, intimidating sometimes to, like, make sure that, like, the vendor you're going with or something is like, doing things in a way that you want and like. I guess just kind of like, don't, don't be afraid to do it. However, you want to do it. Right? It's like, kind of like getting a tattoo. Like, you want to speak up for what you want. If you're like, not that I mean, it's like an important moment in your life and you want it to be. You want to feel like, safe and good about it and. Like you're being heard. So yeah, I think it's, it's like good and important to choose people you feel aligned with and like be able to voice what you want and feel comfortable. Absolutely. Yeah. I love that. Again, you guys just had great comparisons the whole episode, picking out your flowers is like getting a tattoo. I mean, it is like, you're going to look back and like, remember that. I'm like, You want it to feel good. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a life moment. Yeah. Yeah. And also like, not that there has to be all that pressure too, because I think there's pressure about like, It being the best day of your life, right? It can also just be like, I mean, we like eloped and probably planned it. I don't even know. We planned it super last minute, basically, and it was perfect for us because that's that's how we are, you know, like, yeah, you can do it any way you want. And that's part of like. Being queer, you're doing it however way you want to do it. And that works. Absolutely. You can do it any way you want. And also we'll give you some inspiration to help that feel also less scary. Cause sometimes that can also feel scary on its own being like, I have all the options and now I'm scared. Wow. Well, thank you to both. So, so much for sharing your time and your knowledge and Yeah. Everybody keep on the lookout for that mood board. I think the takeaway is just like, yeah, do, do what feels right for you and hire Prairie Rose for all your needs. Yeah. Thank you so much. This has been so much fun talking with you. Yeah. We're so excited. Yeah.