52. MINI SERIES: QUEERIFYING PARTS OF YOUR WEDDING - Your Presentation

Let's talk about who you choose to present on your wedding day and how you can add your own queer touch! Everything from your hair and makeup to what you decide to wear is a representation of how you want to authentically present on your wedding day! Let's talk about it!

The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic

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Transcript

Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-2: 0:41

Weirdly. what's up friends. I am back with another little mini series, episode, clarifying parts of your wedding. And today we're going to talk about your presentation and how to clarify that in your own way. I'm so excited about this, because I think this topic just. Really thrives in the queer community. Yeah. And I think that's because in order to, to live as a queer person, you've had to really. Kind of. Struggle with your identity. And I think that looks different for everybody. Like maybe some people didn't necessarily struggle, but I think regardless of, of what it looks like you've had to like, think about. Okay. Like how, how do I identify? How do I present? And you get to like play around with it a lot more, obviously. Our great allies can also do that, but I think. Just because so many queer folks have had to go on this journey of like figuring out who they are and whether that's, you know, shifted their gender identity or just how they want to present, because. We're living outside of the traditional mold of how men and women kind of traditionally present. And so I think it's just such a fun opportunity for folks to really figure out how they want to present on their wedding day. As per usual, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong. If you and your future spouse decide that you want to do something, that's just like very classic. But I think. Even just thinking about the idea of like, oh, could I add a touch of color or, you know, do I want to do something different or maybe you want to do something that's like totally outside of the box. I think, yeah. Queer weddings. Just lend themselves so well to like doing whatever you want. So let's talk about it. So I wanted to talk kind of here briefly about both hair and makeup and outfits. So starting with the idea of hair and makeup, I think. That this is also a really fun opportunity to like, think about. Do I want to do yeah. Some like very colorful. I shadow. Do I want to do something? That's not just like the traditional classic wedding glam. So I think there's that aspect of it, but I also. I think something that I've had a really hard time with. Uh, being in the wedding industry for so long. As I think there's a lot of stigma around either men. Or just like masculine folks in general, interacting with hair and makeup. I think there's just like a lot of things. In our society that kind of socialized men to be like, oh no, I just, you know, I get up and go in the shower and leave in the morning and I don't do anything and I don't wash my face and I don't want to make up because that's girly, you know, like there's just a lot of those kinds of ideas that are shared. And of course again, if ultimately that's how, how you want to present, like that's totally fine. But I think that we can do better at just like letting everyone know regardless of how they identify or present that like hair and makeup is for everyone. And even if you identify like, as a man or as a groom, like you're still allowed to have, you know, even if it's something just as simple as like some concealer, like. I just,

Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-3: 4:22

yeah. I feel like people get so weird about it. Whether it's, you know, the groom or the person who's a little bit more masculine themselves, or whether it's like hair and makeup artists who were like, oh, I don't really offer that. Like, I just, I think that there's still a little bit of weirdness around this. And so I just want to say like, Again, Heron makeup is for everybody. And it doesn't mean that like, Just because you aren't interested in that you have to do a full glam look, right. And so I think it's just really important to keep in mind. Both for us as photographers who are like talking to our couples as well as like hair and makeup artists and things like that. You should just never assume. Right. I think it would be really harmful to approach a wedding that might have two grooms and just automatically assume they're not interested in here in makeup. They're not going to do anything fun. Like. That's just so that's. So last year I think. That however you present. And however you identify, like you're allowed to, you know, want help with that on your day. You're also just allowed to like, have fun with it. Like. I have seen some people who identify as grooms and they like do wear a full face of makeup and that's like so fun and amazing. And even for like lesbians that might lean a bit, a little bit more mask, like you're also allowed to get help with your hair and makeup and it doesn't have to be anything super feminine. Right. So, I guess my point is for us as vendors just. Don't assume like people might so want help finding a vendor like that. And. For couples, like do whatever the heck you want and go on Pinterest, like look at some ideas of some fun things that people have done and, and see what speaks to you because the world's your oyster. I should also note too, that I have an old episode on here with palindrome hair, where we kind of talk about. Hair and makeup a little bit more in depth. So definitely go check out that episode. It's a little bit earlier on, if you want to talk about this or learn about this more in depth. And then I wanted to quickly touch on. Outfits and the things that you wear on your wedding and how you could potentially sort of clarify that. So, Again, this just goes back to like, I think as queer people, we get to just like, have so much fun exploring. How we want to present. And so it's like, Do you want to wear a suit? Do you want to wear a dress? Right? Like there's no. There's not that like huge expectation. Cause it's just kind of like. Your weddings already viewed is untraditional. So like, how do you wanna run with that? I yeah. In my time. I've just been so grateful to see it all, like, you know, Everything from like mask lesbians to wearing suits, to even more like femme presenting people wearing suits. I've seen people who identify as grooms or lean a little bit more masculine. I've seen them wear dresses or do things like add a little bit of femininity into their outfits by maybe adding like a Cape or. Something, that's not just like a super fitted suit. And then there's also starting to become some options that are a little bit more in between. Like I've seen. These really awesome outfits where. Maybe it's kind of a take on. Uh, a shirt and pants, but then behind the pants, there's like something that kind of attaches on the back that gives it, that sort of dress like field. And so I think there's some really, really great options for things that are in between too. I think. We definitely could use more. Cause I know that there's plenty of folks who don't really want to lean super heavily one way or the other. But I think that another really, really fun option for that could be is like an outfit change. Now, I know that's kind of been a trend happening over the last couple of years. Particularly when talking about straight weddings. It usually is the ride. We'll change into something like kind of fun or like maybe shorter for the dance floor. But in this case, I think. A really great option for you to kind of get the best of both worlds, especially if you're like, oh, I don't know if I want like a dress or suit or like, I just don't know, like having an outfit change, I think could be a really fun way to incorporate that in. Obviously, yes. There's sometimes an additional cost that comes with that. So you have to figure out what's what's right for you, but maybe you want to wear your address for your ceremony. And then. Either you can wait till the dance floor, or if you want to give it some more time to be able to have it in more photos and wear it more, you could do it, you know, right before the dinner starts or something like that. And then you change into a suit or a jumpsuit, or, you know, I think there's just so many options and in such a fun way to get to kind of play with both sides. So. I encourage you to yes. Like go on Pinterest, even though I know this sounds like a plug also feel free to check out my Instagram. I feel like I've had so many awesome couples who have just been so creative with everything from their outfits to. Their hair and makeup to their outfit changes. So yeah, just do some thinking. Do some research, do some Pinteresting. See what feels right for you and just know that like, The world's your oyster, and you've already had to come so far with, with realizing your authentic self. And so I want that authentic energy to carry into your wedding day. Right? And I should also note too, that like, sometimes there's something about weddings that might feel like. Yeah, I just, I think weddings feel like a totally different world. Right? So I'm saying that because for me personally, I don't wear dresses. Like they're just not my favorite. They don't feel like me anymore. I honestly don't think I've worn a dress. And maybe like two years, if not, a little bit more. But for whatever reason on my wedding day, like that's, so what I picture myself and that's after like thinking through different options. And so I think that there's just something about weddings that really like allow us to just feel like. This is a really fun and special day. And like, it might be different than my day to day life. And that gives me opportunity to like play around and experiment and see what feels good to me. So, I'm going to stop yapping as per usual, but I hope that this inspires you to just, yeah, just have fun with it. And. Try different things and go to a dress appointment, go to a suit appointment. You know, look at, look at different queer resources out there. And I'm also going to link a blog in the show notes to some resources I have on my blog about queer outfits and all of that as well. Thank you all So. much for tuning into this fond mini series. I hope you all are doing amazing and I can't wait to see you soon.